Saturday, May 1, 2010

The Homesick.

Now days I started feeling the weekends dull and very much boring. Don’t know why!! In fact the lengthy sleep on the day makes it unfruitful. It becomes al most noon time for me to get up. An untimely breakfast becomes a brunch and the whole day’s energy is gone with that. Soaring temperature makes an outing a horrible event. Oh, Goodness, it’s just the April has passed; more horrible months are coming in. I just can’t look at the calendar for the trimester staring June. The usual highs stand close to 48 Deg centigrade and lows close to 36 or 38. The high humid summer will turn the even the nights nightmarish. Good for schooling children that their vacation starts by second week of July and will cover the whole soaring summer. Most of the families will leave for their long holidays and the offices will see lots of empty chairs. Slower work pace will leave the days longer.

I am looking forward to have a nice vacation this time. Recently my home trips leave me a bit desperate. This time I desire to enjoy a nice span of holidays. I think a trip with the parents to one of the hill-stations would be a good idea. But the oldies might like a pilgrimage. Oldies?? Oh my mom would be shocked if she sees this comment.

Any how being at home is a pleasure. Usually I come home with out giving any notice. Last time, only Prasanth knew that I was arriving; another person who knew it was a friend of mine whose name I don’t want to take here. Actually I loosely told him during a conversation. Giving a surprise visit to home is a splendid experience. I enjoy that. I will be in trouble only when parents went on a visit to some where else. I knew where Amma used to keep the keys if they had gone to the nearest temple or to the market for weekly vegetable purchase. She keeps it at a “hidden place” that’s only known to these kids. The best part is that even “Paru” (a doggy at the neighboring home) knows these secret places. Usually prior to my visit, before I catch my arrangements, I used to make sure that they are not going any where on those days of my arrival. Because of this now my mom falls suspicious when I ask them for a couple of times more that on a particular day if they plan to go any where mostly on Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays. Now I need to find a new way to know their movements.

Though we plan something, the less-punctual travel services make everything upside down. I like travelling light. Usually I take only a max of 18 kg baggage though the baggage allowances are for 40 kg. I strictly try to follow Indian railways’ motto, less luggage, less head ache!!!

Last time I got in to trouble when the flight carrying me and other 115 passengers, 4 crew members and 2 pilots touched down the tarmac at CIAL with a 10 mins delay. Baggage took another 20 mins. , the result; I missed my planned train from Alwaye at 7.10am. I had just 40 mins in my hand to reach Alwaye Railway station and catch the train to my holy land. I did not consider the time to pull out a ticket. There was a long queue before I reached there. I cursed the air carrier through out my journey till I reached home. They boast of a leading quality conservation certification for their services. From that day I lost my faith in these certification notices and the certifier’s blue and green emblem.
The excitement of reaching home on next morning had slipped away my sleep that night and I kept waiting for my connection flight for three hours at Mumbai Chatrapathi Sivaji Airport’s domestic Terminal. It was a four hours sleepless flight followed by another three hours wait. During last summer, at all international gateways the passengers were strictly undergone some health checks for Swine Flue. Some remote sensing instrument was kept there at the passenger entry point. It looked like a modern ammunition instrument aimed at me. Luckily neither me, nor any one in that flight were diagnosed for swine flue. Otherwise!! Oh Holy Fire, I can’t just imagine.

The 30 mins delay at the Cochin air port was translated to a total three hour’s delay in my arrival at home. The 11 O’ Clock expected guest reached home at 2 O’ Clock, post noon. In those twelve hours of my long expedition (?), I used all modes of traveling means except the one by water. A taxi cab, Air planes, The Auto Rickshaw, The great Indian railways’ Train, and another Auto rick. The experience was wonderful. It would have been more splendid if the timings were followed as per my plan.
Achan was happy that day, for my unexpected presence for lunch with him, on his birthday. Though it was not a big festivity, only Prashanth and Geetechi’s (my lovely aunt) family was there. That day I realized in Indian families how deep parents feel missing their children, when they are far away, but just a phone call away from them. Still they do not show that to their children. Since then I made it a habit that I call them every day, and talk with them at least for three minutes what ever it happens.

They are happy for me!!! And I am happy for them!!!

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Invariant Desperations

Invariant Desperations

I do not know, who else in the world would read my words, seldom do I wish to know that though!!!
Because it doesn’t make any sense to me as far as I do not publish at least a 120 paged, hardbound book, pleading and falling at the feet of any hard pocketed publisher, where it’s totally a different issue.

So my friend, this is for you.. …

The name is Hari. Linguistically it means “one who abolishes”; can be a bit elaborated to reach “One who abolishes the darkness.” As I said earlier, the name doesn’t just make any sense. It is a simple symbol that makes one recognized among a crowd and I don’t abolish darkness anywhere.
As a matter of fact, I like darkness. I like walking in the darkness, I like staring at the darkness. I like swimming in the darkness. On a no-moon night, sitting beneath a banyan tree in the dense darkness is worth enjoyable. The noise of the trembling banyan leaves will turn to be an illusive music and take you to the deepest level of sleep. You will get the better bed-mates there. The Bats, some night –awake birds, even you may find a beautiful owl perching on one of the higher branches giving you protection. The snakes if there around will be fantastic to give a good company. Its hissing is impressing.
Thus the darkness. More over no one sees me there. They won’t ask me “why am l like this?”, I don’t need to answer their questions. Darkness hides so much of things, mysteriously.
You know the banyan tree is considered to be one of the best atmospheric pollution controllers. She absorbs more CO2 than any other plants and expels good O2. Her roots are deeply networked and reach larger area. Hence she has a good amount of water reservoir capacity. Okay.. Let’s leave all those things to the environmentalist and botanists. Usually in Indian mythology refers thebanyan tree to a Man, male. But I feel and find more of a feminine ecstasy in banyan tree.
It was at a point of darkness every thing has evolved from. The Universe, the big bang, the Stars, the sun, the planets, the satellites, the earth, the sea, the shore, the life.. Everything. Even you have might have felt t the deep enthralling darkness while you were a foetus. Think of your posture when you were securely packed inside your mother’s womb. You are connected to your mother via an umbilical cord and By 30th week, you started sucking your fingers. There too was darkness. Only you felt things. One fine morning, noon, evening or at night or at midnight something started pushing you down the ally and you fall in to the new world. Still the you find darkness there and you didn’t scream for help. The Masonic lady who took you in to her hands patted you back gently to make you scream. Hearing that the half fainted mom gets back to consciousness and forgets the pain she had hitherto. She is taught to feed you at that very instance. A pale coloured, odour-less , tasteless beestings is fed to you. You scream, sleep and wake up with another scream and opening your eyes. The darkness still hits your eyes..

Still I like Darkness. I really hate Name Hari, which means the one who abolishes Darkness.

Desperations
From here I will start describing my Invariant Desperations.